Written by Admin | Jan 31, 2022 6:00:00 AM
A divorce always requires a great deal of thought to ensure equitable solutions, and that time only increases when children are involved. While balancing your child’s best interests with your emotions and all the other considerations a divorce brings may be difficult, don’t worry. We’re here to help you determine your parenting plan after a divorce.This may seem like an obvious first step, but it is truly the thing that matters most. If your parenting plan doesn’t set up your child to live their best life, it is a failed parenting plan. So, what do “best interests” look like? These encompass both physical and emotional needs.Physical needs include food, clothing, shelter, protection from harm, and medical care. On the other hand, emotional needs include mental health, anger management, and a healthy relationship with parents.Before you talk to your child about their wishes, you should first consider their age and maturity. While a two-year-old may prefer to live with one parent over the other, they cannot conceive all the factors that go into a decision like that.Even the most amicable divorces involve hardship and stress for the children who live through them. For that reason, you may want to find a counselor or therapist for your child to speak with during the divorce process.The same goes for you and your former spouse—there’s no reason to refuse mental and emotional help during a time like this. Just as we need physical health checkups every few months, we should put the same care into our minds.While it may make sense to talk to your child about the household they’d prefer to live in (if they’re old and mature enough to make that decision), keep them out of divorce proceedings as much as possible. It’s easy to wind up inadvertently badmouthing your spouse in a less-than-friendly divorce, which puts your child in an awkward position.Do everything you can to avoid forcing your child to “pick a side,” which can create unnecessary emotional turmoil.Not every divorce happens for amicable reasons, and some require you to prove that you are the parent that should maintain custody of your child. If this is the case, you should collect witnesses who can speak to your parenting ability and are willing to testify on your behalf.A few key witnesses are more effective than two dozen general witnesses—try to make sure everyone has something important to say.You likely had your schedule down to a science before the divorce, and getting a new schedule locked in will be a massive help to establishing normalcy for parents and children. Remember, your schedule now has more meaning, though. This is no longer a matter of determining who picks up the kids after soccer practice; it’s a matter of how long your children spend with each parent.The most common court-recommended parenting plan is a 50/50 split. There are several options that all work out to be an even time-split, including:Long-distance parenting or other considerations may require you to tailor your schedule to your situation. While these schedules are common, that doesn’t mean youmustmake them work. The most important factor is making parenting work for both spouses’ schedules while balancing the time your children spend with each parent.A child’s life involves many important dates, from concerts to sports games to dances. While divorce can create a whirlwind, you can create a calendar to keep track of all these events so you don’t miss a moment of your child’s life.You can use a retroactive calendar to help, too. Recreating a calendar of the last six months can help show the roles that each parent plays in a child’s life. This makes it easier to figure out a schedule that can work moving forward!Despite going through a divorce, you’ll still need to stay in contact with your former spouse to make co-parenting work. Once your kid is moving between homes like clockwork, it will become easy to communicate less and less. However, organized information is essential to a child’s life, and you shouldn’t force your kids to be messengers.Even if it isn’t strictly necessary, we recommend sending a summary of your child’s stay, including important information, following every handoff. You can send it in an email or text, and the message should include things like any grades your child received, friends they played with after school, upcoming appointments, and anything else that’s relevant.Set up a schedule to see your children regularly if you're long-distance. As we’ve all learned during the COVID-19 pandemic, video calls are a great way to stay in touch with your loved ones.While custody can end up going to one parent over the other, both parents are usually responsible for a child’s finances. Determining what child support will look like is essential for both parents, especially in a long-distance parenting plan. That’s because one parent will likely receive a little extra money every month while the other will need to budget to send some money every month.An Illinois family law attorney can help you through any questions you have about child support but remember to keep a log of all child-related expenses. This will help you break down where child support payments are going (they cannot be applied to any expense, only those relating to the well-being of your child).Now that you know how to determine your parenting plan after a divorce, come together with your former spouse and your attorney to build the best possible life for your children.